[IC] Inbox for cyberformed

[hashtaggayrobots]

UN: #@$#+@ g
[BEEP]

This is Hashtag! Sorry you missed me. Drop me a line--[There's a soft giggle there and whispered "I can't believe I got to say that..."]--and I'll get back to you.

Ciao!

[BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP]


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[hashtaggayrobots]

"You're right. We can't make anyone forget or forgive what we've done. But we can show we won't do it again."

Trying to exude confidence and all of the amazing things that make her Mom so perfect is hard and Hashtag doesn't know how to do that long term. So she stops trying. She's curled up in the chair in her studio, arms pulled back from the desk so she doesn't accidentally knock something over.

"Did you say sorry to Wheeljack?" she asks, because it's one of the first things on her mind now. "He's really nice and doesn't know how to express himself but he cares a lot. I know he can sound grumpy sometimes but it's just 'cause he's really shy about people knowing how he feels. Like you."

[disastertron]

Megatron didn't know what to say to all of that, either. He hadn't thought to relate Wheeljack to himself, but then again he didn't know the young mech personally. This had been easier when Wheeljack had just been a faceless number, not a living, venting reminder of his own inadequacies.

He thought, not for the first time, of what Hashtag and Optimus would think of him the next time he failed, or the next. He thought of Donnie and Hot Shot, as well, particularly the latter. He knew that Hot Shot had some sort of connection to Wheekjack based upon what Hot Shot's Optimus had said, and the thought of the gains he had made with Hot Shot being lost through his own idiocy made his spark ache.

"I-" He hesitated, but then plowed ahead anyway because as many good parents and guardians would tell you, you could always use your own discomfort as a teaching moment. "I didn't know how to begin. I could only think of what he and my counterpart might say to you and Optimus if I fumble, and how that may color your opinions, along with those of a young mech I assisted prior to the battle. I was afraid for him and of him, and I allowed that to delay my efforts. But you are correct. I shouldn't have allowed that of myself, either. I shall message him now, using my internal comms."

Which he did, even as he shook his head. "I am glad you have him," he said heavily, wondering if that were still true. If he had robbed Hashtag of a friend, even if that friend was still alive. "Every young bot needs someone close to their age to relate to, to draw strength from and to give it back. It was the same with Optimus and myself when we were your age."

[hashtaggayrobots]

She's quiet for a moment, because it says a lot to her that Megatron is being so honest. Opening himself up and telling her actual fears he has. Adults usually hide so much from them and it feels special to have someone be this honest with her...even if it's sad. Even if she's still kind of mad at him.

"Nothing anyone else says will change my opinion of you," she says. "You're family. My mom knew everything you did before she ever met you and you're still her best friend. And it's not like I didn't know. I did! Kind of. It's different. Thinking of it as a before and after. But you're not a before and after you. You're just you. And you're still family."

She then adds, "I'm still not happy with you, though. And telling him sorry isn't for you, it's because he deserves to hear it."

[disastertron]

Megatron's unseen smile twisted. "I do ken those things," he said at last, heavy and rueful, "although it never hurts to be reminded of it, does it?" Except when it did.

He sighed then said, "Make him fully formed to me, if you are so inclined. Explain young Wheeljack in the way Optimus used to explain the surface of Cybertron to me, long before I ever saw it."

He then paused and laughed, as an idea occurred to him. "Forgive me. First, it must be said," He smiled a slightly odd smile, "for the purposes of muddying an issue with technicalities... Those those were not our original names. If we are to follow the metaphor. I was miner 1170-D, and he went by the name Orion Pax. Perhaps one day, either of you will find new names call to you, as well. I hope to be there with you when you do. It is a marvelous, wondrous feeling."

[hashtaggayrobots]

She's glad that they seem to understand each other, that Megatron is listening to what she says and is taking it seriously. That he understands how much it means to her that he make things right with Wheeljack as best as he can. Wheeljack probably won't want to hear it, but he does serve an apology.

"Oh, I know," she says. "I mean, about Orion Pax, anyway. Optimus told us his original name when he showed us the matrix."

Which has not happened yet, but maybe she never should have said that.

[disastertron]

"Is that a fact?" Megatron said in a different tone than he had before, almost sharp. Almost instantly, though, he reached for his smile and found it. "I apologize. That came out wrong. I simply... find it unusual that he would show you the matrix. I myself have only seen it less than a handful of times since it was given to him."

And I would prefer it to stay that way, he thought but didn't say.

"When did this happen? I do not recall such a thing happening back on Earth, unless Optimus did not see fit to tell me of it."

[hashtaggayrobots]

"Oh right...that...uh...yeah!"

This is when she realized she messed up. Because he has known that she has memories he doesn't. He had only just met them after all in his time. But she had been able to get away with him not asking questions up until now. And maybe before now she wouldn't have minded telling him things...except. Except.

How long can she say things before saying the wrong thing?

"I mean, Optimus brought up to the HQ so they could study the cybersleeves and he showed us the Matrix because it's like the Emberstone, right? Another artefact made by the original Primes."

[disastertron]

Megatron's optics grew brighter with several emotions that he did his best to bury, and bury fast. No need to burden Hashtag with them. All the same, his expression soured slightly at the mention of the original primes, but he waved that off. "He brought you to GHOST? Deliberately?" He heaved out a deep vent and shook his head. "I can only hope that doing so yielded useful information. What did you learn?"

He let his words remain there in the air between them for a moment, before he raised a hand, his expression easing into a slight smile. "Peace, Hashtag. You do not need to tell me. Consider this a bit of improvisational life training. Conversations like this while you're young can help prepare you for what to say, in order to build boundaries for your own comfort and safety. In the future, if you aren't comfortable talking with me or anyone about a subject, say as much. Or message someone you trust, who would be able to help you."